■■■ ITV LISTINGS ■■■
Satruday 8th Augst
(we can't even spell properly)
THE ORACLE BREAKFAST HOUR
We have presenters too you know.
They're just...not as famous.
BETTER THAN CEEFAX: A DOCUMENTARY
In which we prove conclusively
that ORACLE is the superior
teletext service. Evidence is
somewhat lacking but we try.
ADVERT BREAK
Unlike the BBC we have adverts.
Isn't that GREAT? Buy things!
Call 0898 numbers for PRIZES!
(calls cost 48p/min cheap rate)
ORACLE HOLIDAYS
Benidorm from £99! Torremolinos
from £149! Free child places!
Book via PRESTEL or your local
travel agent (ask for Sharon).
WHO IS DAN BRYARS?
We heard the BBC are doing some
big thing for his birthday. We
weren't invited. That's fine.
We're not bitter. Not at all.
We're FINE.
MORE ADVERTS
Crazy prices at DFS! Sale must
end Sunday! (It never does)
OUR GRAPHICS ARE JUST AS GOOD
A presentation demonstrating that
our teletext graphics are
definitely as good as Ceefax's.
[GRAPHICS FAILED TO LOAD]
BAMBOOZLE!
Our famous interactive quiz! The
one good thing we had. Press the
coloured buttons on your remote.
It was genuinely brilliant.
ORACLE NEWS
Same news as Ceefax but with
worse formatting and more adverts
between paragraphs. Enjoy!
CLOSEDOWN
ORACLE shuts down for the night
because ITV can't be bothered to
run teletext 24 hours. Switch to
BBC for proper Ceefax instead.
ORACLE - a bit like Ceefax
but not as good since 1978
For a proper teletext experience
please return to CEEFAX p600